Self-Awareness: The Building Block of Self-Care

“Take time for yourself.”

“Treat yourself, you deserve it!”

“Pamper yourself today.”

Your girlfriends, your mother, your partner— if they’re a supportive bunch, they’re probably sprinkling phrases like this into your ear along with their other heartfelt chatter each time you see them.  

You smile, squeeze their hands or kiss their faces, and then go on about your day, logging their advice away somewhere on your to-do list beneath grocery shopping, cleaning the bathroom, and meeting that deadline for work.  But aside from adding it to your list, you’re not putting a single thought into what it might look like to actually act on taking time, treating, or pampering yourself.

Self-Care. 

You know you need it, you know it matters…you just don’t always know what it means for you.

How can you give yourself more of what you need when you don’t know what you need?

Before you can dive into taking care of yourself with the same committed, passionate, generous energy you bring to all other aspects of your life, it’s time to get self aware.

To get started, it’s time to Check In with yourself.

Checking in is the only way to get clear about what you need to get out of your self care routine (which may, and will, change a little each time).  Self-care is not a “one size fits all” activity for every person, and even you can not have a “one size fits all” approach to the way you choose to practice it.  

So find a quiet place where you feel safest and at peace.  

Ask yourself these questions: 

Where am I at physically, emotionally, and mentally?  

What happened in my day or week?  

How did those events make me think, feel, and act?  

Ruminate on them, and even put your answers on paper to keep them organized and bring more clarity.

Whether your responses are good, bad, or neutral, dig deep to think about what actions you can take to create more positivity— or simply more balance— during your next self-care session.

Here are some examples of feelings that may arise during a check-in and one possible action in response to your new self-awareness:

Mom-ing or working from home has you feeling isolated and drained.  

Schedule time with a friend (or three) away from the house where you can remove yourself from your normal, predictable environment for a few hours.  Be present in the moment and make lots of room for laughter and connection with yourself and with your people.  Fill your tank with quality time that will boost your energy and re-affirm a sense of community and belonging.

This week you’ve been over-worked and overwhelmed, with too many people demanding too many things at the same time.  

This calls for a night in by yourself with all devices aside from the TV powered down.  Need a complete break from all screen time? Choose an activity in the great outdoors with no distractions aside from bright foliage or intriguing birdsongs.  When outside sources of stimulation and influence leave you feeling untethered, time alone will help you re-center and reconnect to your source of internal intuition.  You are more than capable of steering your own boat, which is easy to forget when so many other hands seem to grab at the oars.

Think about how much more impactful your self-care time would be if you were directly addressing your own needs, rather than haphazardly filling your time with empty distractions.

Once you become clear about your feelings and your state of being, you can confidently say to yourself: 

“Yes, body, I hear you.  I can give you more of the thing you’ve been lacking this week.” 

Or: 

“You’re right, body, I feel you.  It’s time to take a break from the thing we got too much of today.”

Listening to your own mind and body and respecting those needs that arise from your Check Ins is the first step in tailoring a self-care regimen that nourishes you.  

Practice honing your self-awareness, and the benefits you reap from your self-care will increase exponentially!  

So next time your loved ones see you, they’ll be commenting on how centered, relaxed, and happy you appear, rather than encouraging you (again) to take time for yourself.

Because self-care done intentionally from within, shows!