You Are More Than Your Body

There’s a rising tide of Self-Love sweeping over social media, and it’s refreshing!

“Jump right on in, the water’s fine!” women all around us are chanting, expecting us to abandon all body insecurities at the shore and succumb to the rush of loving on ourselves harder than ever before.

So in this era of body positivity, I’m going to swim against the current and risk voicing an unpopular opinion.

It’s okay to not love your body.  Not every bit of it, anyway.  Stick with me on this!

It’s okay to not love your cellulite. It’s ok to not love your belly pooch or a back roll.  It’s even okay to not love the shape of your thighs in those shorts or the look of your arms in that tank top.

But here’s where I draw the line:

What’s not okay is to hate your self over these small, superficial, natural features of your physical body. 

The reason we don’t love those little superficial parts of ourselves is because we expect them to look a different way; a way that we’ve been told they are “supposed” to look based off of Cosmopolitan covers and Snapchat filters. We assume that if those body parts did look different, we could love them.  We assume that the way they are right now — different, not like the others — makes them inherently unlovable, and therefore, so are we.

Because the lie you are fed as a young girl is that your desirability is directly and solely attached to your physical appearance.  You must be a certain shape, dissecting each body part into ratios that feel impossible to maintain.  The cut and color of your hair must be styled to perfection — either poker straight or fashionably curled and/or braided, but whatever you do, don’t show your natural hair.   And don’t forget about your skin:  Keep up on being the trending level of tan (nevermind that your skin color should not be a fashion statement or status symbol), keep that complexion glowing and clean, and make sure freckles are in or out that week before drawing them on or covering them up.  

Look exotic, but not foreign.

Look sexy, but not provocative.

Look like the girl next door, but not boring.

The truth is you are more than your body.  

Like, a lot more.  

Like, an iceberg-made-of-powerful-electric-energy-and-feminine-fire more.  Your body is just the tip visible on the surface, and what lies beneath is all of the weight, substance, and strength of who you are as a person.

Don’t fall for the trap of reducing yourself to these minuscule aesthetic qualities. It’s ok not to be madly in love with the features you call “flawed”.  But don’t ever let me catch you beating yourself up for the tiny, can’t-help-themselves things that speak nothing of the woman who you actually are: 

a powerhouse

a spiritual force to be reckoned with

an unstoppable being of purpose

a creature of divine intuition

a queen of formidable strength

a heart of compassion

 Turn these reminders into affirmations.  

I am a powerhouse

I am a spiritual force to be reckoned with

I am an unstoppable being of purpose

I am a creature of divine intuition

I am a queen of formidable strength

I am a heart of compassion

Recite them out loud or repeat them in your mind while studying your reflection in a mirror or looking over a recent selfie.  Re-define the way you look at yourself by seeing past your body.  Connect with your inner value, and marry it with the image you see before you.

Stop worrying about whether your body is the media’s version of lovable.  Stop worrying about your body as a currency of love at all, available to be bought, sold, or traded.  

Focus instead on loving how it feels to be at peace with your body; to accept that the confidence you rock in those shorts or that dress trumps the arbitrary shapes of your limbs.  Because your body has no baring on your worth, nor should it bind you to an identity that defines your womanhood.  There is so much strength in accepting your body regardless of its physical appearance, and loving your self anyway.  

Always.

Through all of your constantly changing shapes, through the tides of time, through the rise and fall of various beauty standards.

You are more than your body, and remembering what’s beneath the surface is the key to more abundant self-love.